 I Hate Addison |
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It's Christmas evening, and I'm relaxing and trying to post my first entry with my new laptop. I'm not really sure I know what I'm doing. I'm typing in TextWrangler, and I can't get it to show the whole screen, which is kind of annoying. It was a nice Christmas. I woke up insanely early, and instead of going back to sleep like a normal person, I woke up and reached over to my nightstand and plopped the laptop in my lap and went to town. I'm just trying to familiarize myself with its Macness and try to figure out how I'm going to update my journal. Thanks to some savvy readers, I know that TextEdit is basically like Notepad (what I used before to write my entries) but that TextWrangler is prettier and free. So that's what I'm starting out with. I was told that Fetch could replace my old WS_FTP, but also that Fetch isn't so pretty and that Transmit is a super cool way to do it. So I'm trying Transmit. Who the hell knows? It's hard for me to process much at this point. I'm so full that I'm not sure how I'm even conscious. We ate roast and ham and broccoli casserole and sweet potatoes and some kind of bizarre curry fruit salad my mom baked in the oven that actually ended up being really good and rice and rolls and peas and corn and I don't even know what else. Brownies? Ice cream? My special snack made with saltines, brown sugar, butter, chocolate, and red and green sprinkles. So much! We spent some time talking about my sister's wedding. Yeah, my sister just got engaged! So that is pretty dope. It's daunting to go from I'm in love to I'm getting married and that means I have to have a wedding, I'd say, and I just want to be supportive. It's strange. For she is my baby sister! But she is a woman, and her mate is very dreamy and loves Superman and mostly loves my sister. All of this was happening while in the background we knew that my brother and his girlfriend are breaking up tomorrow but decided to spend one last Christmas together so we were trying to act normal while on the inside feeling quite morose bordering on heartbroken about it. We love her. We love him. We love their dog. It's hard. I wonder if it's strange to be spending the last part of Christmas evening curled up on the couch waiting for Grey's Anatomy with my dogs snorting around like lunatics. Frankly, there's only so much togetherness I can stand. I'm happy to be alone in my sweats with my pets and my fiery, sensational Christmas present to which I suspect I am already addicted. Tomorrow my boo comes home. The next day I go back to work. The week will be full of lunches and dinners with friends and my sister's fiance arriving and New Year's Eve at possibly my favorite restaurant on the planet and all of that should be good. So, yeah. Christmas. Happinesses and sadnesses, just like every of the day of the year. And here's a picture of my family from Thanksgiving. I am thankful for them on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and most other holidays. We might tackily grimace in the front row when the music sucks at Christmas mass and we might be too involved in each other's lives and we might utterly disregard the concept of only three meals a day on days like today and just keep fixing plates every hour on the hour. But I do not know how the world would turn without them. I want my mom to know how beautiful she is at almost sixty. I want my sister to be happy and not anxious during this time and I want my brother and his girlfriend to be okay. I want my dad to keep reading irreverent Santa letters aloud and cracking himself and us up and I want my little brother to stay the funniest person I know lately. I just want 2006 to be a good year for us all.  :::
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